During my 3 years, 11 months, and 19 days of being married, I have learned that communication is in the top three of things you must have. Major problems can be overlooked because of a lack of communication and minute issues magnified because of improper communication. Communication is not optional in marriage or in any type of relationship. And it’s not just verbal but also nonverbal. Let me give you an example: I asked my husband to put the clean dishes away. He say okay and I continue with the task I’ve already started. About 45 minutes later I go in the kitchen to load the dishwasher and low and beyond it’s full. So here’s how the conversation went.
Me: Honey, I asked you to put the dishes away
Him: I will
Me: I asked you a while ago so when I was done I could load the dishwasher
Him: Well you didn’t say that.
After that my attitude went from 2 to 10 ( I was already slightly irritated). He proceeded to continue doing what he was doing which made it even worse. In my mind, he assumes that I’m going to do it because I’m already in the kitchen and I want it done now. I’m about 2 seconds from starting an argument and realize I didn’t tell him when. He has no idea that I’m cleaning now so I can go out later. He has no idea that I have planned out the day and I given him assignments. Everything is in my mind and he is not a mind reader. This small incident could have started a big argument because I felt like I wasn’t being heard when in reality I hadn’t said anything at all.
The moral of the story is be open with your lines of communication. Express your feeling and/or concerns in a calm manner. Always check yourself first to see where you may have dropped the ball and where you could have done better. It’s not hard to talk, we do it daily. Communication is key and is one of the best tools in your toolbox. It’s a great day to be alive! Let’s make it count!