The Power of NO
Hello Queens! Pray you all are having a triumphant Thursday. Today’s edition of Truthful Thursday is centered around a two letter word that is simple yet strong. That word is NO. Now you may be wondering what truth has to do with no and why I want to talk about it; well here you go. To be honest, there was a time in my life when I only used the word no in negative situations. For example, do you want a whooping? Or when asked if I minded doing something that I really didn’t want to do. Another example, do you mind working 12s for five days straight? I had a hard time simply saying no unless it was illegal or dangerous.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with voicing your opinion and standing your ground. It is good to say no when you are being taken advantage of, when you already have plans, and even when you just don’t feel like doing something. There is positive power in knowing and utilizing your boundaries.
My view of no was that it showed weakness. Saying no meant I couldn’t handle doing multiple things or that I didn’t care about the person asking the question. I’m not even sure how or when this became my perspective of no. It wasn’t like my parents always told me I couldn’t have or do something. If anything, I got most of what I asked for within reason. Maybe I was used to saying yes so often that there wasn’t a no option for me.
I was recently invited to a conference in Las Vegas for 2 days and had to say no. Not because there was anything wrong with the person or event (it is a women’s conference, y’all know I’m saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost) but because I couldn’t adjust my home schedule. Initially I was a little down because I said no. I was down because I didn’t want her to drive to Vegas alone, I wanted to help her with the expenses, and I wanted to be there to support her. She completely understood why I said no and assured me that it was okay (she’s awesome like that). I had to remind myself that this was a healthy no response.
A healthy no response is declining to commit to something when it can cause harm, crosses your boundaries line, or causes a strain on you, your family, and relationships. If I had said yes, my husband would have used his last few days of time off which we need in case of unexpected events, and I would have been selling plates to come up with the money because it wasn’t in my budget. These are unnecessary strains that I would have put on myself and my family if I still viewed no as a weakness.
I’m proud to say that my NO meter is running smoothly and I have no problem using it. Occasionally, I’ll have to remind myself of the healthy no response but it usually to deny myself from buying my kids or husband stuff they don’t need. The power of no is a concept that took me a while to understand but now that I know it’s not a sign of weakness but a tool of boundaries, I can use it effectively.
Queens, I pray you all received from this post. May your life be filled with love, peace, and joy. Have a blessed day! It’s a great day to be alive; let’s make it count.